10 Nov 2010 | Raymond Snoddy

It wouldn’t be Saturday night entertainment without Widdy

Raymond Snoddy asks are we all being had when it comes to Widdy’s Strictly staying-power and constant cheap thrills from the X Factor camp? If so, it is certainly working on the ratings rat race front… “If this is an embarrassing crisis for television it is clearly one the broadcasters can live with”.

It is the issue which has divided the nation – whether Ann Widdecombe should do the decent thing and retire gracefully from Strictly Come Dancing. After all John Sergeant provided the clearest example of how overweight people who can’t dance are supposed to behave.

You win the hearts and votes of the audience, and then having done much better than anyone imagined, you retire gracefully to allow those who can actually dance compete for the big prize. Unfortunately nobody told former Prisons Minister Widdy, who is quite determined to tough it out to the bitter end.

As the retired MP with the new lease of life puts it: “If this was merely a dancing competition it wouldn’t be Saturday night entertainment. It would be BBC Sport.”

John Sergeant would never have actually won the competition. Eventually he would probably have found himself in the bottom two and the judges would have intervened to put him out of his misery.
This time Widdy can go all the way – so to speak.

By removing the final veto of the judges and giving all power to the audience the producers appeared to have made a crucial error of judgment. For the first time the Widdy figure can actually win – with the votes of those who don’t give a stuff about the quality of the dancing and are happy to spend 10p causing chaos.

Are we seeing some of the best marketing of popular television programmes there has ever been, marketing that is actually embedded in the structure of the programmes themselves?

Except are we all being had? Is this actually a cynical manoeuvre to exploit the audience, undermine authority in the shape of the judges and give viewers a cheap thrill?

If so it is certainly working. Ann goes on and on, and up goes the ratings – another million last week to 11.4 million. If this is an embarrassing crisis for television it is clearly one the broadcasters can live with.

Over at The X factor camp where performers who can’t sing in tune are routinely told they are “amazing”, a different variant of the same game is obviously being played. Nothing like a decision from Cheryl Cole to withhold her vote from Treyc Cohen and Katie Waissel to windup the publicity.

‘It’s a fix’ moaned Treyc’s dad Fitzgerald Cohen. “It’s not about singing, it’s a freak show now,” observed Fitzgerald who noted that Waissel the winner had polled only a third of the public votes. Spot on Fitzgerald. Maybe Simon Cowell should have a word with the producers of Strictly.

ITV seems to be doing rather well at the moment with a 16% year-or-year rise in advertising revenue, thanks in no small measure to “the ratings rat race”

But all the publicity has clearly done the trick with an audience of 14.9 million in the supposed age of audience fragmentation.

Then of course we find out today that surprise, surprise the judge furore was indeed all rigged. Are we seeing some of the best marketing of popular television programmes there has ever been, marketing that is actually embedded in the structure of the programmes themselves?

Maybe it is all a bit formulaic, a favourite word of the BBC Trust, albeit in the context of daytime antique shows. It does however seem a touch harsh to demonise harmless daytime programme as formulaic just because they don’t attract millions of viewers. Distinctiveness is difficult to do every hour of every day.

The ITV high-ups addressed the issue more colourfully in their recent performance before the House of Lords communications select committee. ITV was in a “ratings rat race” – or as some have unkindly put it “a Rattner race”. All those soaps that for some reason people insist on watching.

Maybe it’s time to lay off Ann Widdecombe, recognise the importance of formulaic, entertaining programmes in difficult times and await the return of Jack Duckworth

Everyone knows what the ITV top brass Archie Norman and Adam Crozier were up to – a variant on Channel 4’s begging bowl. The CRR (contract rights renewal) must go otherwise we can’t do any decent programmes.

The slight problem with this line is that ITV seems to be doing rather well at the moment with a 16% year-or-year rise in advertising revenue, thanks in no small measure to “the ratings rat race”. And the company still dominates the television advertising market in the UK, which is why the big advertisers and agencies continue to refuse to play ball on CRR.

As for ratings wars ITV should be extremely grateful for programmes like The X Factor. That 14.9 million audience provided a healthy inheritance, which helped Downton Abbey to 10.1 million, giving ITV its best Sunday night of the of the year.

And there will be no escape from such formulaic programming. Simon Cowell’s company Syco is planning to launch another two or three entertainment franchises and you can be sure they will appear on ITV.

Soaps still prove distressingly popular with the death of Jack Duckworth in Coronation Street pulling in more than 12 million. So maybe it’s time to lay off Ann Widdecombe, recognise the importance of formulaic, entertaining programmes in difficult times and await the return of Jack Duckworth. He wasn’t really dead. Honest.